How To Plan Your Life When It’s Impossible To Know How You’ll Feel

by | May 26, 2022 | Lupus Blog | 0 comments

This week’s blog is going to be all about how to plan your life when it’s impossible to know how you’ll feel. I know that this is a topic that we don’t commonly bring up to discussion. But there are going to be times where living with autoimmunity is going to be feeling so bad physiologically from day to day. It will come to a point where it feels like it’s impossible to plan and really eat. 

This is where you need to admit that there are times in our lives when things feel like they’ve really hit rock bottom. And that you just don’t know how to proceed with life, because everything you’re used to feeling doing and being is completely turned upside down. You’re going to feel so terrible. The physiology of your body from aches and pains to fatigue or whatever, is what you’re going to deal with. It might just consume you so much so that you can barely operate.

What Do You Do When This Happens In Your Life?

Navigating life, when things hit rock bottom, can feel impossible and overwhelming. It’s important for us to recognize it and understand it; to have patients around, for us to navigate our lives, when things do feel terrible and things can feel drastically different. 

From being human beings, we all know that change is hard. We’re used to doing things a certain way, and we just get in the habit of a certain way of doing things. That’s why when we have to change our behavior for the better, whatever goals we set, we try to change our behavior to meet those goals. That change can feel very overwhelming and of itself from a healthy state of being. But to be forced into something because of your sickness, is really unfair. It’s going to hit you from nowhere and you’re going to feel very unprepared. 

With that, I want to bring awareness to it, because sometimes we don’t know how to be sick and don’t know how to be healthy. We don’t know how to manage our lives and navigate our roles in our lives from a place of feeling terrible. 

Extend Your Grace and Understanding

Thus, this is a topic that we need to pull together so that we can extend grace and understanding towards ourselves. We expect this to be understood by those around us; those people that we love and that are closest to us because there’s no way for them to truly understand what we may be going through. 

Yes, it’s going to take time and sometimes that time is going to take longer than we expect, especially if you’re somebody like me who’s very impatient and is used to working at a high level. 

I’m not used to being told to do something or being told not to do something. I’m used to doing things on my own terms, and when struck with a flare or a sickness that sort of caps me at my knees, I just didn’t know how to handle it. But having been through that life-changing flare situation, I understand that you need patience and time. 

Why You Need To Be Patient

Patience was very hard to cultivate. The hardest thing I’ve ever done is to not know what tomorrow will bring and what’ll feel like. 

What are you supposed to do when you don’t feel good that you can’t plan your life anymore? Especially when you have responsibilities to fulfill as a spouse, parent or a boss. 

You have to understand and redefine what that time and patience can look like. 

Sometimes you have to just let things be because it might be the time for you to learn to let all your expectations of doing things a certain way go. It’s going to take a back seat and you have to relearn all the things that you’re used to doing and be okay with that. Sometimes that period is going to get pretty messy before it makes sense to you. 

Let Life Reveal What’s Next

I’m used to having clarity around everything. If it doesn’t have clarity, then I feel really out of control. That was the most uncomfortable feeling ever. However, I also had to learn that that was how it’s going to be.

You have to be okay with things being really messy and chaotic.

Cos there’s nothing you can do to plan ahead and fill out your agenda neatly to make sure that your life is going to look exactly the way you planned. So you just have to let life reveal what’s next and be okay with it. You just have to show up with the best attitude, regardless of.

What You Can Do When You Feel So Terrible

How are you supposed to do that when you feel so terrible?

Well, you have to sit with what it is and be okay with being sick because you have to learn how to be okay with it. You have to build resilience and understanding around it because you can fight it all you want and hate it, but that’s going to spiral down your path. You’re going to get complacent. Then, you’re going to be angry and resentful. Until you’re guilty and shameful. All those things are things that don’t serve you right now. It’s not the path to healing. 

Therefore, you have to feel what you feel. If you feel angry, you have to lean into it and feel anger and just be okay with it. If you feel sick, you have to lean into that sickness and be sick, be okay with that and be in bed. All you need is to be okay with feeling shameful in the guilt and you have to lean into bat and understand why.

Reflect and Do Not Resist

The key is to reflect upon what you’re feeling and not resist it. Perhaps, you can even write it down and journal how terrible you feel at that very moment. Just let your hand do the writing and try to dump all the thoughts on paper.

For me, that was the most productive thing ever. It allowed me to really understand where I was and it’s taking time to get to know you and what you’ve been harboring deep within you. 

That is a time for reflection. It’s time to be okay with where you are truly, and except where you are. It’s going to cultivate self-acceptance, understanding and awareness at a whole different level. 

It’s where I’ve never extended grace to myself. I was just busy doing all the things I had to do until I got really sick and understood all the feelings that came up. The triggers that were there and what I regarded as a false sense of identity that I was holding on to. 

Actually, it’s kind of liberating to let all the expectations go. It has become a time of self-reflection and self-awakening. The feelings had to explode in order for me to see who I truly was from the inside. 

I Am Feeling What I Feel

To be honest with you, I’m still in that mess right now. But despite that, I feel really truthful and authentic. 

I reveal exactly how I feel at the moment, and I’m not trying to hold on to things anymore. I am cultivating this gratitude towards who I’m becoming since it’s the best time for me to figure things out because I’m okay with the messiness right now. I’m okay with feeling what I feel, and holding onto what makes me feel myself without all the pretense. All the superficial being, having to force myself to be, I’m okay with where things lie. I’m okay with the truth being told. With letting go and letting things be too. 

It’s Okay Not To Be Okay

This is an opportunity for us to rise.

So for those who are going through a hard time because of where you are, and you can’t really seem to figure out a way out of it, I want to tell you that it’s okay. 

Just be where you are and lean into the moment. Be okay with feeling terrible and bad because when you hit rock bottom, the only place you can go is up from here. 

As I said in last week’s blog, you have to be okay with not being okay. 

Every season in life has turned over. Therefore, it’s okay to just be in the fold and let nature take its place. Because I realized that too much of my life has been all about my self control. When I try to do that, it feels like I remain so small. I lose perspective and I don’t understand the fullness of life and what I’m supposed to experience.

If I didn’t experience what I’m experiencing, then how can I share this experience with you? So we really need to understand that sometimes things happen to us for self-reflection, awareness and for ultimate growth. It’s an opportunity for us to elevate our consciousness to a whole new level and have an understanding of how we do that.

Choose To Live A Good Life

We always have a choice to feel bad or feel good. But sometimes we have to feel bad enough to want to feel good.

Let things be where they are and allow yourself to feel or want to feel good.

If it takes forever, you have to take the time and have the patience to extend the grace to yourself. Also, to understand that at the end of the day, we have yoga, the movement through breath. It’s a practice that can be cultivated. I’ve been wanting to move my body and I’m so grateful that I have the willingness to do that. I extend that time for myself at least an hour every day and it’s been amazing. To tune into myself, feel the breath with every movement and get curious about the joints of my body. 

I have been able to have a sense of empowerment to heal around the areas of my body. Where I’ve been aching and just really been able to tune into that moment. Also, I’ve been able to silence my mind and seek greater understanding through my meditation sessions, both in the morning, as well as at night. I’m very much not in the overthinking mode so much as it is. 

I’m just feeling what I feel in the moment and being fully present with myself. I noticed that I’ve been allowing myself to really do and be in the moment. 

Reassessing Life

Doing what matters to me and spending time with my kids, make me get curious about where they are not trying to control their every feeling or doing. But getting curious at what amazing human beings they’re becoming. Also, just spending time with them and being in the moment that’s been making me super happy because we’re connecting in ways we never have before. It just feels like home. In my heart, I can feel the connection with my sons in ways I’ve never been able to before.

I’m just so grateful for that and it allows me to reassess my life to bring about what’s truly important and what’s really voicing the truth. Instead of pretending that I liked something just to do it because everybody else is doing it. For me, it’s a “no” when it really means “no”. 

Then, giving the time and spending time with my loved ones and doing things that I love, like playing the piano, doing yoga full-heartedly or enjoy cooking because I love cooking for my family. Those are the kind of things that I’ve been reveling at.

Keep This In Mind

It’s okay to feel shitty or crappy. Give yourself that time to allow yourself to feel that way. It really allows you to be truthful for yourself. Cos now that you know what crappy looks like, when you do feel good, you appreciate it so much more.

You’re going to want to extend this happiness when you do feel good to the ones that you love. Then, you’re going to be much more careful with your time because this time, when you feel good, you want to make it worthwhile doing things that you love. 

Hence, I want you to cultivate this understanding within. You have to find what really matters to you and hold on to those moments to fully be in the moment. 

When you do that, everything becomes so beautiful. Like even walking the dogs outside or being able to do yoga makes you realize that it’s a privilege. It’s not a dreadful experience where you are making yourself do something in a bigger perspective. 

A Matter of Perspective

Remember, no matter what disease or condition you might have, you’re able to elevate your consciousness in ways where you didn’t have the access to that before.

Thus, it’s a matter of perspective. We should learn to manage our emotions and our minds to understand that we’re multi-layer beings. When things suck, let it suck so that you can amplify those times that are good. 

It takes time and patience in cultivating those two things to take an opportunity to become one. Self-awareness, taking the time to self reflect and allow this time as a time for growth, is what I want for you.

Work With Us

There are multiple links and ways for you to work with me. CLICK HERE to check the different programs I offer, where I guide autoimmune patients through. 

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Thank you for once again joining me in this blog and I’ll see you all next week!

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