I recently went through a Lupus flare.
It was a minor flare, but it affected me enough to rethink what Lupus is and how it affects our lives.
This flare started with aches, pains, and fatigue.
I know that it was triggered by an emotional episode that was deep seeded and comes and goes from time to time.
I used to be able to sweep it under the rug and be ok but the older I get, the more it affects me.
My physical body was becoming inflamed. My heart raced for no reason. I experienced aches on my finger joints, severe fatigue, and then fever.
Feeling an aching in my heart, I knew that it was my emotions and my thoughts that were triggering this flare.
I thought that if I just kept doing what I’ve always done, my body will calm itself down and all will be well.
But as Lupus took over my body, I progressively got sicker.
The War Inside Me
The pain was deep in my bones and nerves. It felt like it was spreading to all my nerve endings and the pain was intense. Crazy intense.
This pain was so bad it brought me to tears. It kept me awake at night.
It progressed into digestive upset, tummy ache, vomiting, and then rash.
Rashes developed on my back, then down the arms, legs, and then the classic malar rash on my face. I couldn’t hide it anymore.
I cried at work because I felt out of control. I felt my body going against the natural order as it kept fighting itself.
There was a war inside me, and it was hot, destructive, and painful deep within.
There was nothing I could do to stop its progression.
I went to my Rheumatologist. He was cold and matter of factly as I sat there in his office in tears because I was so tired.
He shrugged his shoulders and without making eye contact told me I was having a minor Lupus flare.
He asked what do I expect? He reminded me that I have Lupus and the classic Lupus rash across my cheeks indicated I was going through a flare. As if I didn’t already know this.
He ordered some labs and sent me away with tapering dose of corticosteroids for 10 days to calm the flare.
I had enough respect for Lupus to obey his orders. I knew I needed to put the fire out within me.
I’ve been getting better and better everyday.
Before these past few weeks, I hadn’t had a flare in over 5 years.
Even when I did have flares, I had forgotten just how they make you feel: helpless, tired, and in pain.
Lupus can change the trajectory of your life in an instant.
After this flare experience, I vowed to never take my health for granted. I felt this experience was a way for God to show me just how you all may feel from time to time.
Yesterday, I was able to return to work and participate in our hot yoga class. I was overwhelmed with gratitude for a second chance.
Never again do I want to feel my body spiral out of control into destruction.
Truth is that you never know how Lupus will affect you.
Key is to know your threshold and understand that we have a condition that is volatile. It can be so destructive to the point of death.
I had gotten away from creating balance in my life. I was enjoying my frequent wine with dinner and coffee for breakfast.
For those of you who know me, these two things are my two vices. But for me personally, my tolerance for them is a measure of my health.
Somewhere in my journey with Lupus, I’ve decided my health status depends on my ability handle my vices without side effects.
During this flare, these vices made me sick. I now cannot handle coffee in the morning and wine upsets my stomach.
I’m currently sitting with this discomfort, processing this flare, reflecting on what it was teaching me.
Lupus Flare Lessons
I feel a deep sense of responsibility to all of you to share my struggles as well as my successes with living with Lupus.
It is when I feel the weakest that I turn to Yoga and Meditation to tune into my body and make it strong again.
I will recover from this and rise out of it stronger than ever before, and you’ll all see me through this process.
I know how you all feel from time to time. Yes, the pain can be debilitating. Lupus can be frustrating and make you hopeless.
I share what I share to let you know that I understand. But we all have a choice.
We can complain together, dwell in self pity, and let Lupus win.
Or we can choose to fight and work harder to recreate health and get stronger.
This shift in thought is what will create lasting success in your lives.
It’s what did it for me.
I’m not giving up. I choose to rise stronger and healthier than before and help my body heal.
If you wish to do the same, I want to show you the way.
Our online Yoga Teacher Training program will coach you through self healing.
If you join, I’ll be guiding you to be the healthiest and strongest version of yourself emotionally, physically, and spiritually.
The cart is open for a limited time, so if you want to fight for your health, join me on this journey and invest in your health and future.
Click here to find out more. Hope to see you inside.
See you next time.