Understanding Who You Are is the First Step to Healing

by | Jan 13, 2021 | Lupus Blog | 0 comments

Hey, everybody. Today I want to talk to you about why understanding who you are is the first step to your self healing journey.

We have our consciousness, and that’s where you are consciously aware of who you are, or who you think you are, and what’s expected us. It’s almost the version of us that is programmed by the external circumstances and the world. It’s the version of ourselves that we play out as if we are actors in a movie, with the truth as the story you’re playing out. You, as the main character in your own movie, is exactly what you’re creating, day in and day out.

After two decades of living with autoimmunity, I learned that I didn’t recognize my role in creating the health and life I want for myself. I was giving my power away to the so-called “experts.” If you can envision the full spectrum, we’ve got all the colors of the rainbow, from left to right. Life is not about the black and white, the sick and health. The middle place is where it gets super messy.

I want you to recognize that the messy middle part is where life happens. We get so stuck into creating drama in our lives to know exactly who you are and what role you play in your live. That keeps us so small and so limited. In our consciousness, we want the tangible evidence of what helps us in our medical field.

We All Have Biases

As someone who has studied the scientific methods, I have a doctoral study. I conducted my own research as part of my thesis. When I was graduating, I was doing all the things I prove certain things. What I can share with you is that there’s what’s called inter-tester reliability, meaning that no matter how pure I might be, I bring my biases as a researcher. If you’re a human being, you have biases. We’re not neutral beings. You have opinions and judgments and this is how we conduct ourselves in our daily lives. Look at our political system. Look at what happened just last week. We all have strong opinions of what we consider to be right and wrong. Where we fall on that spectrum is largely dictated by our past, our experiences, and our conditioning.

We’ve all been shaped and indoctrinated. No matter how smart you are, you’re conditioned in a certain way. We have this life, from the vertical line we’ve got the top ceiling and the bottom floor. Then, we have the consciousness by which we define ourselves in our lives, which is how we let our lives play out. But, this is very subconscious for many people. Many people think the truth is what you believe, but what you believe it not the truth. It’s a perception of what you bring to the table. It’s an interpretation of what’s factual in the world. In fact, there’s very little facts in life. We, as humans, like to put emphasis on the facts, but that’s such a play on words.

Our Deep Beliefs Sabotage Us

I’m really trying to explain something so abstract as something that’s so concrete. I know many of you have the same experience with this as I have. No matter how hard I try to change some aspect about me, I realize that I, myself, would show up and really sabotage the very thing I was trying to achieve.

Specifically in this context, we’re talking about health. No matter how much we want to be healthy, I’ve met so many patients that go against it and get in the way of themselves getting healthy. They have the excuses and all the procrastination. They have negative self talk, and then they start to defend the limitations of why they can’t do the thing. Their beliefs in their capability are so deep seated.

So, stripped down, it’s really about how you view yourself. If you don’t recognize these tendencies, you set points by which you live your life and you’re never going to achieve the long-term success in your endeavors, whatever they may be. This is just one spectrum. Health, wealth, and relationships are the three motivating factors that drive human behavior.

Prioritize Being vs. Doing

You have to understand that at the end of the day, a lot of you come to me asking specific questions for concrete subject topics. Like, what kind of exercises should I do, what kind of movements or therapeutic exercises should I do, or what kinds of foods should I eat. The act of eating requires me to psychologically be aligned with what it is I’m choosing to eat and put into my body. It takes action. Just like it takes action for me to show up at the yoga class, or the gym, or whatever it is you do. It takes action to want to do those things and to choose to do those things.

As we’re talking in January of 2021, we make goals based on the actions that we’re going to take. I’m going to eat healthy, or go to the gym, or I’m going to cook more, or I’m going to make better choices in foods. You do this without recognizing who you are being and without changing who you’re being.

For example, an easy way to demonstrate this is with someone who wants to lose 30 pounds. Well, they have deep seated beliefs within them. They think that they’re heavy boned and they’ve always been obese. I’ll never be skinny, I’m just big boned. That’s what they believe, but they don’t consciously recognize that. All they want right here, right now, in 2021 is to lose 30 pounds. They might go and get on a diet. Guess what happens in diets? It’s like a yo-yo. You come right back to the point of who you believe to be.

Choose Thoughts That Serve You

I, as a practitioner of health with licenses to retain liability or otherwise, can’t tell you I can cure your lupus. That would be a false statement. I, for myself, have to believe that I can cure myself of my lupus. That’s what I solely believed. At some point in my journey, I realized nobody else can have control.

Therefore, it would be foolish of me to believe that doctor that keeps telling me “you cannot be cured of lupus.” Every time something goes wrong, they were so hellbent on keeping me on a medication. I proved them wrong. It’s because I believed in myself. I chose to think a thought that better served me, rather than to believe something that other people see in me. They don’t have what I have.

I know the history of ICD-9 codes. Different autoimmune diseases have a specific code, coded to be able to be reimbursed through third party payers. If you’re not coded, when you do to the hospital, just like with COVID-19 last year, a lot of the hospitalists had to link the deaths in the hospital to COVID. They dictate that these medical services that are in line with this disease, so that the insurance payers can pay up. That’s how the system is coded.

Our Beliefs Govern Us

No matter what, if you are my clients, you’ve had me talk before. I go back to your past history, get down to who you are and all the traumas that you bring to the surface. I do this to make sure you’re not replaying the story in those stories you tell. If you believe that your disease is incurable, but you’ve signed up for my program, you’re always going to work to sabotage the behavior. You’re going to avert from me, unbeknownst to you, and work against the very thing that we’re trying to do together. This is because your belief is stronger and you’re going to work to validate it. It’s as simple as that. It’s our human nature. If you believe something is good or bad, you’re going to prove that it is good or bad based on what you’ve heard.

It’s all the story you write. Your position causes you to write the story in a certain way. If you believe that you can’t be cured of lupus or your autoimmune condition, that’s the story you’re living out. Many of us lie to ourselves, thinking that we can and we want. It was such a meta concept for me. I wanted certain things so much, but my behaviors wouldn’t follow unless I really sat and looked at my behaviors and matched them with where I wanted to go. If it didn’t align, it was because it wasn’t in alignment with what I believed. Everything I was trying to do was superficial stuff. The set point deep within my belief system, my identity of who I think I am and how I show up to be who I am was very different. If it’s not alignment, nothing will actually happen.

The Alkaline Method

I want to make sure you understand that in order to understand who you are, you must recognize your patterns. That’s why I created the Alkaline Method. It’s a self healing journey, with inner pillars to the outer pillars. It’s important to be aware of your inner pillars of what drives your behavior. What’s your anchor point? Your foundational beliefs are right here and right now. You must see in what alignment you’re living out that story and make sure you know what your core beliefs, values, mission, and vision for your life is. Nobody asks you that. You might wonder, we’re talking about autoimmunity, why are you asking me about the deep stuff?

It’s important because if you just want to be on a hamster wheel, doing the same thing over and over but expecting different results, guess what you’re going to create. You’re going to create more of the same. We can’t afford to create more of the same. You have to be disrupted in your life, enough to recognize certain changes that you have to make. Your mind does not know it can make the changes. We always think we’re not good enough. That’s why we can’t do the thing.

I Thought I Was Broken

For a long time, I really attached to the belief that I was broken because of my lupus. I thought that I was not worthy or deserving of all the things. Living in fear, my limitations were so heavy. I didn’t recognize that I had certain expectations with everybody around me. If they were mean, insensitive, or whatever, I would feel very hurt and resentful towards my close friends and family. I felt like they needed to know I have lupus and they needed to be nicer to me. That’s the sort of limiting beliefs that set the tone for how I showed up in my life and my relationship.

As you can see, if somebody is always negative and circling in self pity, nobody wants to be around that. I know that for a fact. I’ve talked to my best friends, who’ve known me when I was living like that. They’ll tell you, since they’re very honest and true friends for life. They’ll tell me, “my gosh, Connie, you were kind of crazy back then.” It was really heavy, and that dependency doesn’t create the health boundaries and relationships you want.

Your relationship with yourself is a direct reflection of what you’re creating. If health is not so important to you, you have to look further at how you think about yourself. If you’re not regarding yourself, there’s no respect or love toward yourself. So, you’re not going to do the things that are going to help you. It’s almost like the way you don’t want to give someone you don’t like the word and do everything you can to help them. You’re creating this self-loathing, which I did for so long without even realizing.

Doing the Deep Work

I was willing to step into doing the deep work of getting to know myself when I did realize this. I was able to peel off the layers and understand my inner pillars to the outer pillars. Then, I could really step into elevating myself to be the person I want to be the new version of me. I completely reinvented myself so that I can expand my mind to the newer possibilities. Like curing myself of lupus and running a business. Like doing the thing I’m doing right now, helping other people to be truly empowered from within to learn the tactics and apply them daily.

If I didn’t have love, regard, and respect for myself, I was keeping myself from showing up for myself. I was there doing all the things for my kids, spouse, parents, sister, friends, and everybody else at the mercy of me and forsaking myself at every chance.

If you find yourself in a pickle right now and you don’t like what you’re creating, really take a look at the possibility that what you are creating right now is a direct reflection of the story you’re telling yourself. It has everything to do with who you think you are. You really have to go under to really realize if this is not what you want and you don’t want to repeat more of the past and bring it into the future. You have to open yourself to the newer possibilities by elevating yourself, expanding your mind, and being empowered.

Relying on Insight

Regardless of the science, intellect, and all the knowledge I’ve gained, I realized it’s all limited in this 3D world. The real work is expanding your mind to rely on the timeless insights that you and I both have in our lives, deep within us. My job, through the work I do in my podcast, Facebook group, and Autoimmune Health Transformation program, is all about transforming the way you think about you and giving you your power back. That way, you can not just do a little better, a little more, or a little different, but completely change who you are and how you’re being every day. By doing this, you can truly be and step into being the healthiest version of yourself. This is a meta concept, but if you don’t manage what’s here in your psyche, nothing else matters.

I discussed the six pillars of the Alkaline Method. Down at the bottom is your foundation. Your foundational beliefs and identity, where you’re anchored right here and right now. That changes from time to time. From that place, you’re aligned with everything that you do, which is aligned with who you are. If you’re not doing the thing, you have to ask what’s your foundation and go deeper to have lasting deeper.

Who You Are

The third pillar is core. Core values and vision, because if you don’t have a vision for your life and health, you’re at the mercy of whatever happens. Everybody sort of waits until the treatment comes out or the new doctors writes another book or comes up with a new diet. I’m willing to tell you that does not work. That’s only 3D. It’s at that same vibrational frequency. It’s what we know as consciousness.

You’re not willing to step into the timeless wisdom and insights that are available deep within and switch the switch on for self healing. That is not going to help you. It’s why there are so many diets and so many different interventions. They’re all dogmatic in their nature. You end up just as confused as you were when you found what you thought would help you.

The Outer Pillars

The fourth pillar is polarity, understanding that life is a paradox. Sometimes it doesn’t make sense, but you’re willing to dance with the full spectrum of it. You have to understand that there is sick and health, acidic and alkaline, north and south, positive and negative, with a grander view as well.

The fifth pillar is to find your breath and be present here and now. This moment, right now, is all we’ve got. The sixth pillar is balance. Balancing your body, your life, and creating equanimity. Doing this over and over again, and finding how you have tweak a little bit to make sure you find homeostasis. You readjust the set point within you as you grow and evolve. That’s what you’re here to do on this earth. If you’re not, that’s why you’re so miserable and depressed and we need all the medications we can get, just to get by.

I don’t want you guys suffering any more than you have to. I really want you to be willing to be enlightened in the new ways of being. You’re a miraculous creature and deep within you’re here to evolve and grow. If you’re not doing that, you’re living in suffering and everything feels so hard. You haven’t realized your full potential yet.

The Neuropsychology Piece

Remember our physiology, physicality of movement and nutrition is still outside of us. Neuropsychology is what I emphasize. It’s our minds that trigger our feelings, and feelings drive our actions. Then, we have to use those elements in our favor to make the right choices with the foods. Even with food, there’s no bad or good foods. Everybody says elimination diet, and I do promote that for a short time. But, my goal long-term is to be able to have all of it. Have the cake and eat it too. Experience the fullness of life, what it brings to you, and really savor the taste by learning to eat intuitively.

Once again, one man’s medicine can be another’s poison. Only you can know for yourself. I might say apples are bad, but they might be super good for you. Don’t assume, like the old adage says, an apple a day keeps the doctor away. Truth be told, if I have an apple, I’ll have my IBS symptoms be irritated.

I’m working to make sure that you guys become more resilient. I want you to have more endurance and strength from within to enjoy the full taste of life. It’s not about our limitations, it’s about elevating yourself to expand your mind to your possibilities. That way, you can be empowered to make the necessary choices to help you thrive in life. We don’t just want to just exist, we want to thrive. I’m here to help you do that.

Putting It All Together

We use our signature Alkaline Method with the six pillars, as well as the elements of health that involve our physicality. This includes the movement piece, through the asanas, yoga, and nutrition. Under the element or neuropsychology, we tap into your thoughts and feelings, really metabolizing, digesting, and recognizing how that drives your actions. Cumulative actions, then, create a result in your life. If I can just direct your mind in this way, utilizing my Alkaline pillars and the elements I mentioned, you will be complete from the inside. You will be so courageous and confident in the way you show up to help yourself, heal yourself, and get on your self healing journey. Everything else becomes icing on the cake.

I hope this made sense for you. It’s a little abstract, but I feel this is the path we need to be taking. I have my podcast, and I would really love it if you’d leave me a positive review on iTunes and subscribe so I can continue to deliver these wise messages to you. They might trigger you to really transform your life. Remember, I’m trying to get you from a caterpillar to butterfly. We all have that transformative capability. My job is to nudge you forward so that you start to fly and find your wings in the process. You’re not meant to be on the ground as a caterpillar. That’s not who you are. I promise what you believe is what you’re going to manifest in everything you do.

Autoimmune Detox Challenge

If you haven’t already, join me in my Tribe of Autoimmune Health Rebels Facebook group. Next week, at 11AM EST every single day, I am hosting an Autoimmune Detox Challenge for 7 days. This is where I teach you all the tips, tools, strategies, and tactics to reverse your autoimmune condition. That way, you can be elevated in your being, expand your mind to the possibilities of healing yourself, and be empowered to drastically transform your life and health in the process. Thank you so much for joining me.

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