Two decades of being a clinician and a Lupus patient taught me that our beliefs about our circumstances determines our outcome.
What are beliefs? Beliefs are repeated thoughts that we think to be “true”. What we believe is a choice that we all have.
Some beliefs are productive while other beliefs are detrimental to our progress.
This is a fact of life.
Beliefs about Lupus
Lupus is a circumstance for all of us. We were all diagnosed and we live with it, period.
Some of us are going through some health challenges from Lupus flares, while others may be doing ok at the moment.
Whatever is going on is what it is. Life happens and situations don’t have to be good or bad. It just is until we give it meaning.
Perceptions, interpretations, judgements, and opinions are all things that give our circumstances meaning for us.
It’s the meaning that we place on our circumstances that holds true for each one of us. But the question is, are these meanings really true?
They’re only true if you believe they are. The most exciting thing to know is that what we believe is a choice.
The difference between a Lupus Rebel vs a complacent Lupus patient is their beliefs about Lupus.
A complacent Lupus patient may believe Lupus is happening to them and they have no other choice.
A Lupus Rebel chooses to believe Lupus is happening for them and uses it to get healthy.
See the difference?
Passive vs Active Living
Most people live at the mercy of their circumstances. They think life is happening to them.
Living a passive life is living life by default and reacting to whatever life throws at us.
Living an active life is living life on purpose. We know that life circumstances are just part of life.
We understand that what we choose to believe about life circumstances is a choice, so we choose to believe a thought that serves our purpose rather than living at the effect of our circumstances.
From an early age, we were taught what to do, think, and say.
Our innocent brain was receptive to information transmitted from our parents, teachers, and adults who we considered “authority” figures. So we listened and agreed because that’s what good kids do and it was expected.
Fast forward to adulthood, people think reality creates our beliefs but actually it’s the opposite. Our beliefs create our reality.
Our life circumstances should not determine what we think and believe. What we believe is our choice.
The hard thing is that what we believe “feels” true for us. This is because for all our lives, we have habitual thinking patterns that shaped us.
Our beliefs are running our lives like the open apps in the background of our phone. They feel so true because our brains are so used to thinking a certain way, that to think differently feels very abnormal and even wrong.
I believe Lupus has the potential to pull forth the best version of ourselves.
Lupus in our case, but any obstacles in life have the potential to elevate us or knock us down. Difference in what happens is our beliefs.
I know this without a shadow of a doubt that any one of you can become the healthiest version of yourself not despite Lupus, but because of Lupus.
Lupus can strengthen relationships, create the career of your dreams, and allow you the emotional freedom from all your woes, only if you allow it to and believe it can.
It’s a perspective shift and it’s possible for you.
But here’s the thing. Many of you may watch me today and think to yourselves, that can’t be true for me because I’m not pretty enough, thin enough, rich enough, not enough…
Such are the beliefs that are running your life that will prevent you from moving forward.
How do I know? That used to be me.
I used to lack so much confidence because of Lupus. I had feelings of shame from having Lupus, and I felt broken, not healthy enough, strong enough, pretty enough, etc.
These beliefs used to drive my behavior and kept me from showing up like I’m showing up for you.
Beliefs Are A Choice
I know that my beliefs about myself are my choice. There is no upside to letting other people’s opinions of me have power over me.
I believe other people have their right to think whatever way about me. I just know that I don’t want to live my life at the mercy of what other people think about me.
My truth is my truth and what I believe is that I am powerful, strong, healthy, and capable beyond reason.
I choose not to believe any doctors who say Lupus is an incurable disease and you must be on medications for the rest of your life.
This didn’t ring true for me and I proved them wrong. That’s proof enough for me.
The only difference between you and I is that I believe I can so I did.
What do you believe? What do you want to believe?
Here’s a little tool I choose to call the paradigm. I learned this from my teacher, Brooke Castillo, and it really transformed the way I live my life.
The acronym is CTFAR.
C: Circumstances, which are situations in your life.
They are facts and are completely neutral; no judgements or opinions attached to them.
T: Thoughts, are sentences in your mind about your circumstances. Thoughts are the interpretations and meaning you give to your circumstances.
The thoughts you have are completely optional but can be repeated enough times to become your beliefs.
F: Feelings, which are vibrations in the body. Feelings are also known as emotions.
They are deep and they are caused by the thoughts that you think.
A: Actions, which is what you do or do not do. Actions are triggered by the feelings that we have.
R: Results, which is your outcome in life as a result of your actions.
Your actions create your results are the results are always evidence of your initial thoughts.
How to Use the Paradigm
There will always be an unintentional Paradigm you currently have, and an intentional Paradigm which is an ideal situation/what you want.
So for example:
C: You have Lupus
T: You think Lupus makes you unable to work
F: Depressed, helpless
A: When you feel depressed and helpless, what do you do? Likely you’ll just sit at home and mope around
R: You don’t work and collect disability
For the Intentional Paradigm, the circumstance stays the same because you do not have control of it in the moment.
You’ll start to change your thoughts and feelings to trigger better actions that will get you the results you want in life.
C: You have Lupus
T: I am capable of becoming healthier than I am now
A: Start a healthy diet, practice Yoga
R: Your symptoms start to become less severe as you begin to take control of your Lupus
See how our results are the evidence of our thoughts? We all inherently know this but we subconsciously choose to stick with our unintentional Paradigm.
Change Your Beliefs, Change Your Life With Lupus
If our past is any indicator, we know that we will create more of the same if we keep doing what we are currently doing.
I want to invite you to work with me and join Lupus Health Revolution where I provide you with real life applications of the tools that worked for me to make progress forward for a whole different 2020.
We’ll dive more into using the Paradigm and I’ll coach you on how you can change your thoughts and feelings to product a different outcome.
I know these tools can work for you too. Click HERE for more information.
As always, thank you for tuning in.
See you next time.